my new motto

I am replacing Old Grandad's Family Motto:

"Barrington: Straighter, Stronger, and Harder Than Steel"

He had it inscribed in Latin over the family crest he paid that graphic artist, the same one who worked on the Coca-Cola campaign in the 1930's, to design for our family. Don't ask me how to say it in in Latin because it's fucking Latin and no one fucking cares. It's a dead language for Chris'sakes. The only reason Old Grandad had it inscribed in Latin in the first place was for the for his own ego-centric gravitas.

I only know the damned thing in English because it was one of Old Grandad's favorite sayings.

It always kinda creeped me out.

I always thought that old bastard was just a little too fond of his penis. Lord knows he had a devil of a time keeping the damn thing in his pants. Who's not too fond of their penis? Really now, it is a rather remarkable instrument with a life and a mind all its own. How can you not be impressed with the darned thing?

But then again, I am allegedly trying my best to move away from all that right now and "become a better person yada yada yada". Well okay, mister court ordered therapist, you prick.

My new motto:

"Smoke 'em if ya got 'em, bang 'em if ya can, and fuck 'em if they can't take a joke."

Wonder how you say that in Latin?